“Girls with ASD fit in better”, “You get a boyfriend
just for being a girl”, “You’re pretty so you don’t have any problems”...
I keep seeing this, and have had comments like these
aimed at me personally many times. I am sure there are versions aimed at males,
but due to my own gender, I see the ones aimed at females more often.
Here are my thoughts:
Each individual with ASD have their own unique set of
difficulties. When you meet someone whom you perceive as prettier, higher
functioning or belonging to a gender that you feel is generally treated better
in one way or another, try to remember that they have other problems that come
along with their unique set of circumstances, just as you do.
Each individual has their own history, which affects
their experience of autism, of their own difficulties, possible solutions and
feelings of hope or hopelessness regarding the future.
None of us will get anywhere if we are all concerned
only with our own problems, and highlight them by trying to diminish the
importance of others’ problems.
We shouldn’t be arguing about whose life is harder.
We need more of; “I hear you. I am sorry that you
have gone through that” rather than; “You’ve had it easy, you’re so lucky”.
We should be supporting each other, by acknowledging
each other, and each unique set of difficulties, because right now, that is all
many of us have - the support of fellow people with ASD.
We should be supporting each other in spreading
awareness of the whole spectrum, so that all of our lives, and our children’s
lives, may be easier in some way, some day in the future.
We all matter.
We all matter equally.
Keep swimming.
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