“Girls with ASD fit in better”, “You get a boyfriend just for being a girl”, “You’re pretty so you don’t have any problems”...
I keep seeing this, and have had comments like these aimed at me personally many times. I am sure there are versions aimed at males, but due to my own gender, I see the ones aimed at females more often.
Here are my thoughts:
Each individual with ASD have their own unique set of difficulties. When you meet someone whom you perceive as prettier, higher functioning or belonging to a gender that you feel is generally treated better in one way or another, try to remember that they have other problems that come along with their unique set of circumstances, just as you do.
Each individual has their own history, which affects their experience of autism, of their own difficulties, possible solutions and feelings of hope or hopelessness regarding the future.
None of us will get anywhere if we are all concerned only with our own problems, and highlight them by trying to diminish the importance of others’ problems.
We shouldn’t be arguing about whose life is harder.
We need more of; “I hear you. I am sorry that you have gone through that” rather than; “You’ve had it easy, you’re so lucky”.
We should be supporting each other, by acknowledging each other, and each unique set of difficulties, because right now, that is all many of us have - the support of fellow people with ASD.
We should be supporting each other in spreading awareness of the whole spectrum, so that all of our lives, and our children’s lives, may be easier in some way, some day in the future.
We all matter.
We all matter equally.